Growing

Growth isn't always easy. My littlest one has teeth coming in and it's easy to see it hurts sometimes. So why do I expect my own personal growth to come without pain? Pruning is healthy and necessary but not always easy. It's work and the joy for me will come when I look back and see my progress. In the midst of the process, I need to stay focused and motivated. That's perhaps what I'm finding so hard right now.

Harvest Festival

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"Church Harvest Festival and Trunk or Treat"

Here are my three kids and how the trunk turned out. I'm so happy with it! We got lots of great compliments and the kids had a wonderful time. It was a great way to start the week!

Welcome Great Pumpkin

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"Painting done. Almost ready for the trunk or treat tomorrow."

This is what I've been working on. I'm so happy with how they turned out! Buying a projector was definitely worth it. It was $30 at Hobby Lobby and I used a coupon so I definitely got a good deal. I'm sure I'll have many more uses for it in the future.

Margins

A Bible study about margins today. About creating space in one's life to be able to savor life and have clarity about your priorities. Very timely and lots of food for thought Not sure what I want to say about it here but it's been on my mind for a bit. As I shuffle around my volunteer committments, dropping some and adding others, I want to make sure my priorities are taken care of. God, family, myself. A juggling act for sure but often the good stuff takes work. So I'm working at it and overall, I'm happy where I'm at. I keep plugging away at getting my craft room to be ready for me to create at a moment's notice and I'm knocking out some other pop-up projects, mostly Halloween related. It's all coming together. Margins also help me recognize my blessings. Never enough of that.

Moving

Constant motion today! Except for the 10 minutes on the couch when I closed my eyes to rest just before the kids came home from school. Just finished ironing on patches to my Brownie's uniform and then we're off to Cub Scouts and Brownies. Mike has an HOA meeting and a Stewardship Committee meeting (at the same time). CGN and I will bounce around making sure everyone is behaving and surviving until Mike arrives to be with our Cub Scout.

Just a few more weeks until soccer is over. We're plugging away at the to-do list and enjoying life as it happens. But I look forward to rest time soon!

Whew

Yesterday was errand day so I was out and about with CGN gathering up Halloween goodies and gearing up for the end of October. She is so social and sweet. At Hobby Lobby she saw an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair, made eye contact with him and then showered him love by throwing kisses and waving hi obsessively. She did that to lots of people in the store and I always get lots of comments and compliments. She's a sweet girl and it's fun to be her sidekick.

This morning I walked a 5K. Took about an hour. I need to get back into fitness, regardless of how much I don't love it. I need to like it more so I can get back into shape. Just a little bit each day. I've reined in my eating a lot so hopefully I'll see results at some point.

Had a scary incident while walking my kids to school today. The crossing guard was walking towards us to get us across safely and a car made a left turn (during a red light) and nearly hit her. We were in the crosswalk too but not nearly as close as she was. It scared me and I could tell she was shaken. I called the principal and the school district police. I wish people would just take a deep breath and drive safely. They put all 5 of us at risk just so they could get their kid to school. It's just not worth it. I'm tired of watching this happen - it's not the first time by a long shot. It's a large reason I don't like to walk my kids to school. It's scary how stupid some drivers/parents can be.

Reorganizing

I'm focused on getting the craft room into shape so I can walk in and create without having to clean up first. I was blessed to have some organizers come help me two years ago and now I'm in the maintenance phase of keeping things working for me. There is so much that works for me but it does need some tidying and improving so that's what I'm doing. I don't lack for projects, that's for sure! But I do need the ability to blow off steam now and then and it's hard to do when I have to clean up first. I moved around some furniture to better suit how I work and now it's on to making sure my desk area is set up correctly. I'll post some pictures once everything is in it's place. Shouldn't be long now!

Blech

My email was hacked over night. Boo. I hate that inappropriate emails went out but it happens so hopefully everyone understands it wasn't me. I've taken care of recovering the account and hopefully tomorrow I can start to send email again.

In the meantime, I enjoyed watching CGN snuggle herself into a wicker basket we have. It's a smaller rectangular one and she wedges herself in and out for long periods of time. She's very intent on being positioned just so and then dragging the basket somewhere else and trying a different view. She got stuck a few times but then is right back at it. It's her happy place, I guess. It made me laugh on a day when that was pretty hard to do. So today I'm grateful for little wonders that remind me of the simple joys that life holds.

Full

Life is full, and good, these days. Soccer, parties, cookies and hugs help overcome dishwasher bubbles on the floor. It's a matter of keeping focused on the good and managing the "bad".

EMN had peanut allergies and we recently watched a TV special about it. There have been a lot of ups and downs over the last 8 years. As she and I discussed it tonight driving back from a birthday party, we both agree to focus on the good. We arm ourselves with knowledge, do what we can to keep her healthy, and enjoy all the food that is safe without worry. She's a bright beautiful girl and I love the young lady she is becoming.

Rampage Friday night

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"Go Rampage! @sarampage"

Friday night Mike was working so we went and enjoyed the Rampage hockey game with him. We sat below for the first period and then up with him and the other off-ice officials for the second period. It was a pretty ugly game (we lost 0-3) and so we headed back home early. Still a great night out.

Thankful

I just returned from my Bible study and I'm so grateful for how well it went. My 2 year old class was busy and active but I had good helpers (my co-teacher was absent). My presentation to the leadership was after lunch and it went very smoothly. I hope my thoughts were coherent and that the leaders were able to gain something from my review. I know there will always be something more I wish I had said or done but I did my part and now I can take a deep breath, grateful for the opportunity to lead.

Driving home, listening to CGN babbling in the back seat, I was loving all the swarms of butterflies. It's migration season here in Texas and every October I'm reminded how much I love this time of year. Watching nature and knowing how these beautiful insects just go as they're led. It's instinctive for them to fly south and it's amazing to watch. At times it's almost like driving in a snow-storm of butterflies. EMN tried to catch a few at practice on Tuesday and realized how hard it would be to get one to sit still enough to add to her Tupperware habitat. She eventually was ok remaking it into a ladybug habitat :) In the meantime it's a humbling reminder of the perfect order of nature. God is awesome.

Yesterday (and today)

Forgot to post yesterday. I cleaned up my craft room a bit so I could move my laptop to my desk but out-of-sight = out-of-mind and I forgot to post. But really, who's counting!

Had some of this going on too yesterday. As a lady at soccer practice said, "Girlfriend, you are wearing that tutu!" It's fun dressing a girl :)

I shut us both in the baby's bedroom to get some (ok, a ton) of laundry folded. Must be that scared CGN into action and in a few minutes she had figured out the door handles and became a continual escape artist. She has followed up today with breaking into the pantry, laundry room and bathrooms. It's about to get really busy here ...

Had some of this going on too yesterday. As a lady at soccer practice said, "Girlfriend, you are wearing that tutu!" It's fun dressing a girl :)

Seeing that the computer isn't likely to return downstairs soon, and being that I'm procrastinating a bit today, I'll post for today too. I'm working on a lesson plan for my Bible study tomorrow. I'm leading 30 women in a book review and I'm increasingly more nervous. So now I'm going to buckle down and make my notes into something understandable. 

I got outside!

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I like to read Simple Mom and today's post was perfect. Our family had already planned a Parent-Kid day and it was my turn to take my son out for a special treat. We chose to go bike riding. The weather isn't as cool as it is in Tsh's part of the United States but it was still a beautiful day - just not quite the fall I grew up with. But temps in the 80s, nice breeze and great company are a wonderful combination. We ended up biking about 10 kilometers and we had a wonderful time outdoors. It really helped change my perspective and get some good endorphins going. I hope we can go again soon!

Saturday

Soccer and cleaning up - the usual Saturday. It was incredibly hot and humid for mid-October which is getting on my nerves. I'm really over summer and I'm looking forward to fall coming any day now. Sticky and sweaty is a sure way to push me towards a bad mood.

So, I took a nap. And it was nice. I woke up, my husband came home and all is starting to be right with the world. A change in perspective perhaps. I need adjusting of mind (perspective) frequently these days.

TGIF!

After I hit publish yesterday I re-read some of my recent posts. Seems like Thursday is a theme. Oh well. It's a doozy of a day but hopefully next Thursday it won't be another rehash. I'm teaching at my Bible study to the adults - not just the two-year-olds! - and it's going to be a stretching experience for me. I still can't believe I signed up. I've got to buckle down and get something good together. These are 30 women I don't want to disappoint.

Today I went to Half Price Books. I went after my study and a trip to the Girl Scouts center to pick up uniform items for my little Brownie. The baby was being a trooper, perhaps living the dream of spending a day in her pajamas. Hey, if I can't, I'm glad someone can. Anyway, she was napping off and on so I decided to press my luck and go book shopping. I love books like I love craft supplies - I love the potential in them and I collect books and supplies with great plans in mind but too often there's too little follow through. So I browsed for awhile, kept one book that I might purchase and eventually walked out empty handed. So difficult but necessary. I found $20 in the washing machine (score! But it was from my own clothes so I was really just relieved to find it again). It was burning a hole in my pocket but I realized just collecting books does no good, I need to read the ones I have. So I spent some time this afternoon looking at my GoodReads lists and figuring out what sounds good to read next. I have so many self-help and devotion type books it's like I'm planning a major life change! So time to balance out the non-fiction with fiction.

Tomorrow my husband should return. So thankful. He's having a great time and I'm glad. A little envious, but glad. I get control of the TV remote so while it's not a fair trade, it helps lessen the sting. At some point he'll return the favor in kind. I look forward to a weekend to myself where I can have complete thoughts and adult conversations. Soon!

Thursday

Yikes. Thursday. Have I mentioned Thursdays before? It's the reason I needed a deep breath yesterday. Thursdays I teach 2 year olds at Bible Study, participate in the womens Bible study portion, race home, get kids home from school, head off to soccer practice, accomplish something quick for dinner and then off to Cub or Girl Scouts.

Tonight we added in picking up popcorn to sell and saying goodbye to Daddy for a few days. I'm wiped.

The 2 year olds are sweet, mostly non-verbal, cuties. Watching them become comfortable in the classroom and with their teachers is amazing. Today they were very active, the mommys were a wee bit delayed from the teaching time, and my co-teacher and I ran out of tricks (bubbles, specifically). The kids were "handsy" with each other and not as receptive (to clean up time, particularly) and it made for some interesting interventions. It's also only the second time every child has been present. Brunch will do that :) Anyway, we're seeing the kids come out of their shell more and show their personalities more. I really do enjoy the time with them and it flies by. That in itself is a miracle. I've been in CBS for years and previously tried to avoid helping out in the children's classrooms mostly because I was overwhelmed with my own kids and dealing with 13-15 kids I didn't know didn't sound good to me. Over the last few years, I realized I was enjoying it more and when I was asked to help out last year, half way through the year, I knew it was good timing. I've relaxed a lot more and I know how desperately I needed CBS when my oldest kids were young. It was a time of Bible study, fellowship, learning and also food! It fed me on so many levels and I was able to immerse myself in it knowing my kids were loved and cared for. So now I'm providing that for the moms of our little Blue Lambs. It's a great feeling and I love seeing how God has brought me to this place.

So now I'm off to settle in with an adult beverage and Project Runway. I hope I can stay awake!! No Thursday night football for a change :)

Deep breaths

Another 4 km walk today after dropping off the kids. Took a tremendous amount of mental convincing to make the second lap of the neighborhood. If I walk all the sidewalks of every street, it's 1 mile. I'm glad I did it but it's hard when I know how many hills there are. Someday I hope it won't seem so ominous. CGN loves hanging out in the stroller. She's very quiet unless we see someone and she's sure to say "Hi". She doesn't like to eat while out walking so even though the stroller is packed with snacks, she waits until we're inside to chow down. That's about an hour after she gets up. Whatever works for her, I guess. She's working on a few molars so she's crankier than usual. Here's to a good night sleep.

She and I just hung out today. The one day of the week with nothing scheduled. Laundry and dishes always continue, but no errands, no big "to do's", just hanging out and playing with each other. I don't recall doing this much with the older kids. It doesn't mean I didn't, I just don't remember. And I'm giving myself a lot of grace to know that being with her is important and the other stuff can wait. I did knit a bit and I catch up on email, but mostly it's just being. I like the slower pace. Especially after my funk on Monday, I want to be gentle with myself. I know what lies ahead this week and there won't be a lot of time for deep breaths so I need to get them in when I can.

Friends

Friends are good medicine. Always good to visit with someone who knows you and still likes you anyway.

I walked 4 km this morning after dropping the kids off at school. I'm hoping to keep the funk at bay. I think it's ok to acknowledge it, but I don't want to get sucked into it. So I'm using the different coping mechanisms I know I have and I'm going to do my best to pull myself out of the fog.

Funk

I'm in a funk today. This refining process is hard and I don't always enjoy it. My prayer is that at the end I can say it was worth it.

I'm discouraged that the numbers on the scale never seem to change. A half pound or pound here and there, up and down. No progress. I have been tracking my food for two months. I do my best to keep my calories in check and eat from all the different food groups. I work out, but honestly, I hate it and I'm having a hard time convincing myself to keep going when I really don't enjoy it and I see no weight loss to encourage me to keep going. My clothes aren't fitting any better (I have no shorts that fit and with the temps still high, it's not a positive reminder that my weight is an issue). I have a few people mention that I look trimmer, and I appreciate that, but I honestly can't say that I always believe them.

There are some days I'm just fine with how I look. There are others where I'm frustrated I've let myself get to this point. The baby is a year old now and so I really want to lose the softness. I just don't know how to keep myself motivated. Diet (as in, being careful with what I eat) and exercise really seem to be the only answers. But they're just not working for me.

So what am I grateful for? It's honestly a little hard for me to answer right now. I'm grateful that I have access to healthy foods, I'm grateful for a supportive (although weary of this topic) husband, and I'm grateful I can exercise.

I keep falling into this slump. I'm going to have to figure out how to get out and stay out.

Sunday gratitude

I'm grateful for:

powerful sermons
quiet time to study
good food
naps
my husband
helpers
birthdays
photographs
cameras
memories
cooler weather

Grateful

A Bible study I'm doing challenged us to make a list of 50-100 things we're grateful for. I inadvertantly started yesterday so I'll continue now and then to practice mindfulness.

I'm grateful for:

donuts
helpful husband
coffee
breezes on a hot day
air conditioning
naps
in-laws
birthdays
potato soup
bacon
cheese
laughter
hugs
bath-time
eye surgery
technology (texting in particular)
TV
Bible
Bible studies
scrapbooking
knitting
classes & continual learning
chocolate milk
dragonflies
shade
trees
grass
cameras
traditions
family
friends
mentors
machines (washing machine, dishwasher, dryer in particular)
safety
parents

Thankful

Today I am grateful for a smiley, happy, social baby who loves to wave, blow kisses and say hi to everyone she sees.

I'm grateful for a Bible study (The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith) that is uplifting, encouraging and thought-provoking.

I'm thankful for technology and modern medicine and pray that my dad is on the mend.

I'm grateful for teachers that are attentive, kind, caring and excellent at what they do. We're blessed to be in a wonderful school.

I'm thankful for a successful birthday party for my eldest daughter, for sweet friends to celebrate with and for innocent fun.

Happy Anniversary

Fourteen years ago I married Mike. It was probably the best decision I've ever made. Each year we grow a closer and I can say that I love him more now than that day fourteen years ago. I'm so grateful to share my life with him. I'm proud to be his wife and I look forward to the years ahead.

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"14 years :)"

Content

A full day but not too crazy. I was reminded repeatedly of the many blessings in my life. I'm grateful for all the experiences of today - Bible study and fellowship, private mother - daughter talks with my eldest, party prep, soccer practice and more. More full days ahead ... One day at a time. May I continue to be mindful of how blessed I am.